Dreams..

I guess I'm at this age where my hormones are raging and making me envy those who are getting married, are already married or have super duper cute babies.

Apu... shouldn't envy.

I need to learn too let go.. and let God take control, over my thoughts and desires.

No matter how much I plan and desire, everything will happen in His time and His plans will come to pass.

I know He's got a plan for me, you.. you.. you.. and YOU too!

All we've got to do is.. be patient.

Fuh, that's harder than giving birth man.

I cry for mercy on my poor nerves!! Or rather, my not so healthy patience.

Mercy upon me!!

Turn & Keep

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face
And the things of this world will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace

Keep your eyes upon Jesus, let nobody else take His place
So that hour by hour, you may know His power
Till at last you have run the great race

Blogging from Home

It's been 2 days.. but it's been good.

It is true, God puts a bit of goodness in each and every one of us.. Is that why His word says that we were made in His image? Until Satan put evil in our hearts..

God does not fail or forget to put strengths in each and every one of us..

Even my little brother, whom I have a hard time getting along with, I just realised again how he has such a generous soul.. and I see this run in both father (when he does give) and my mother.

God is good.. all the time.

Amen.

Time's almost up

I'm going to miss Sarawak, so very much :(

Time Out

Wow.. let's take a minute here to take a breather..

*breathe in*breath out*

I never knew.. and I'm sure I'm not the only one, that things would be THIS hectic after our exams.

We had Bina Tata Negara the next week - came back on Friday, and had TESL Retro Night on Sunday. Monday onwards was a marathon of forms and more forms.. visa application, clearance letter, tailoring our lounge suits, briefings on how to fill in the forms, chekcing forms, correcting forms, photocopying chopping and certifying forms.. finally we came to handing in the forms.

Boy, oh boy! It was craaaaazzzeey!

But in the midst of all this busyness.. I was reminded of how blessed we all are to be where we are. I was amazed the other day when Tharini told me that everyone was shocked as our institute was the only institute which has no failures for our Foundation programme.

God couldn't have put a better team of lecturers for us than we already have..

Indeed, they are the best.

I have seen the sweat and tears (literally) which have been shed for us.. the worries, and the frustration.

God has chosen the best team of lecturers.. for us. (and also for you, if you're from another institute! no worries!)

God is good, all the time!

But sometimes.. things can be so busy and hectic that I neglect spending quiet time with Him and reading His word.

As I was putting on my cream.. I was thinking shamefully "I can spend 2 minutes to put on my cream, but I can't make time for God,".

How awful is that?

Dear friends.. brothers and sisters, I urge you.. put away your movies, your books.. and spend time with Him. He alone will bring you peace, and comfort. His wisdom is above all understanding, and His joy will be your strength.

Be comforted that the God of your good times, is also Lord during your bad times. Nothing that has gone wrong, is wrong is God's eyes.

He loves you.. and He cares for you. Surrender all your cares and worries to Him, for He will set you free.

God bless you.. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Nothing without You

Live Your Love by The Katinas

I'm listening to a new song from heaven
I'm wide awake, yet dreaming of You
Though I'm not alone
I'm desperate without You
I see your mercy
Lord You are holy
I want to be more like You

Teach me to live Your love
Help me to give Your love
Show me Your way
Lord I'll obey Your word and live Your love

I stand in awe, grateful remembrance
Press towards the goal
For the prize I must win
I've got my eyes focused upon You
Show me Your beauty
Cause Lord it's your goodness that makes me more like You

Holy wind, blow fresh Your fire anew
Come breathe on my soul
Let my heart be for You I've witnessed the light
And the power of Your might

Teach me to live Your love
Help me to give Your love
Show me Your way
Lord I'll obey Your word and live Your love

Faithful Father - Brian Doerksen

The cry resonates..

A song given by Steph some time ago.. by Jeremy Camp.

Give Me Jesus

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
When I am alone,
When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

Thank you Lord..

It's been exactly a year since I got back in touch with a friend so dear to me..

Sometimes I wonder how long more our friendship will last, fearing what had happen would repeat itself again.

But thank God.. one year has passed, and we're still on talking terms. Sometimes, it's as though we're the best of friends.

I just pray that this friendship will last forever.. it indeed is very dear to me, and I've learnt a lot.

I've learnt that we can't run away from trials and temptations. Even Jesus was tempted. What we can do, is overcome.

I've learnt that loving one another is not by words or sweets, it's by being patient, kind, polite, hopefuly, ... (as in 1 Corinthians). And indeed, it is not easy - but it's never too late to start!

I've learnt that people change, but the Lord is good - and He never changes. He is always there, as you cry and as you smile. He is always guiding you, and teaching you.. showing you the right thing to do.

I've learnt that I can only love God as much as I love my brothers and sisters.. and through loving my brothers and sisters, I've learnt that I don't love enough. In fact, my love for Him is so small.. but may our cry be that He enlarges the tents of our hearts.

I've learnt many things over the course of one year.. every day is a new challenge, and a new lesson. Sometimes they come in little drops, sometimes they come in a flood.

Thank God for opening my eyes.. teaching me and guiding me. He has held me, even through my backaches.. my heartaches.. my pain, sorrow and joy.

Thank you Father, for such a wonderful friend.. and for such a precious friendship.

Most of all, thank You Lord.. for your love. Having You in my life, is greater than any other thing. Having You in my life brings meaning to every other thing. How could I live without You, Father?

Lord.. this is my love letter to you. Sometimes I feel ashamed to post it.. but I'll post it this once. Hopefully I don't take it down. No, it's okay.. I'll leave it up even to my shame.

Many times the Father teaches me through my emotions and what I go through.. just recently, He taught me the hurt He feels when He offers to help us and heal us, but we say "No thanks, I prefer my way,". I'm guilty of doing that.. I'm guilty of leaning on my own understanding, and relying on my own strength.

Oh Father.. if only we could love You as much as we should. Forgive us dear Lord.. Father, forgive us Oh Lord.. what can we do to make You happy? Who are we, sinners.. Forgive us Oh Father.. Forgive us dear Lord.. Oh, lead us back to You dear Lord..

Father, it's been too long.. living without Your presence so heavily in my life. Oh Lord, I long for the intimacy we had.. a year ago. Father, I want to wake up in Your arms.. and rest back in there at night. Father, I want to live in Your plan.. according to the plans You have prepared for me and each and every one of us. Oh Lord.. I want to live on Your love alone. Your grace is all I need.. Father, You are the very breath of life.. Father, there are many times when I walked without You, and fell.. It hurt, dear Lord. The scars and the wounds, they are still there.

Father.. would you come back into my life.. Lord, I'm sick of the excitement of Your presence. Lord, I long to be in your presence oh Lord.. to dwell in Your temple oh Lord. It's not the excitement we're after, Lord.. it is You. Father, fill our hearts once again with Your love.

In Jesus' name alone.. Amen.

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Bad me.

This week, two people cried over me. They're not my admirers, they're not my lovers.. In fact, they're both girls!

Bad me.

What did I do?

Well.. First of all - it's not my fault.

Secondly, ... let me tell you what happened.

*****

Once upon a time, there was a little event called event X. Friend C was running and Friend X was cheering. According to Friend X, Friend C 'pecut' after Friend X screamed - so she was so touched until she cried.

End of Story 1.

*****

A day after once upon a time, Friend B realised (for the second time) that Friend C, L, Y and Z were leaving and this year would be the last time they met. Then, Friend B wept - in the midst of studying!

So this is a collective thing.. I'm not the sole reason, but part of it.

End of Story 2.

*****

The moral of the story is.. if we, imperfect sinners, know how to love each other - what more our Father in heaven, who is perfect and who is love, Himself?

This is a mystery my mind is trying to comprehend.. My emotions are still struggling to grasp this truth.

How big is God's love?

When will my spirit finally reveal to my soul - this unfathomable mystery?

I pray He reveals it to all of us. I bet, we will never be the same, once we fully comprehend.. once we finally understand - the love given by this God whom we call.. Yahweh.

God bless..