Monday, November 02, 2009

Nothing without You

Live Your Love by The Katinas

I'm listening to a new song from heaven
I'm wide awake, yet dreaming of You
Though I'm not alone
I'm desperate without You
I see your mercy
Lord You are holy
I want to be more like You

Teach me to live Your love
Help me to give Your love
Show me Your way
Lord I'll obey Your word and live Your love

I stand in awe, grateful remembrance
Press towards the goal
For the prize I must win
I've got my eyes focused upon You
Show me Your beauty
Cause Lord it's your goodness that makes me more like You

Holy wind, blow fresh Your fire anew
Come breathe on my soul
Let my heart be for You I've witnessed the light
And the power of Your might

Teach me to live Your love
Help me to give Your love
Show me Your way
Lord I'll obey Your word and live Your love

Sunday, November 01, 2009


Faithful Father - Brian Doerksen

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The cry resonates..

A song given by Steph some time ago.. by Jeremy Camp.

Give Me Jesus

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
When I am alone,
When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

Thank you Lord..

It's been exactly a year since I got back in touch with a friend so dear to me..

Sometimes I wonder how long more our friendship will last, fearing what had happen would repeat itself again.

But thank God.. one year has passed, and we're still on talking terms. Sometimes, it's as though we're the best of friends.

I just pray that this friendship will last forever.. it indeed is very dear to me, and I've learnt a lot.

I've learnt that we can't run away from trials and temptations. Even Jesus was tempted. What we can do, is overcome.

I've learnt that loving one another is not by words or sweets, it's by being patient, kind, polite, hopefuly, ... (as in 1 Corinthians). And indeed, it is not easy - but it's never too late to start!

I've learnt that people change, but the Lord is good - and He never changes. He is always there, as you cry and as you smile. He is always guiding you, and teaching you.. showing you the right thing to do.

I've learnt that I can only love God as much as I love my brothers and sisters.. and through loving my brothers and sisters, I've learnt that I don't love enough. In fact, my love for Him is so small.. but may our cry be that He enlarges the tents of our hearts.

I've learnt many things over the course of one year.. every day is a new challenge, and a new lesson. Sometimes they come in little drops, sometimes they come in a flood.

Thank God for opening my eyes.. teaching me and guiding me. He has held me, even through my backaches.. my heartaches.. my pain, sorrow and joy.

Thank you Father, for such a wonderful friend.. and for such a precious friendship.

Most of all, thank You Lord.. for your love. Having You in my life, is greater than any other thing. Having You in my life brings meaning to every other thing. How could I live without You, Father?

Lord.. this is my love letter to you. Sometimes I feel ashamed to post it.. but I'll post it this once. Hopefully I don't take it down. No, it's okay.. I'll leave it up even to my shame.

Many times the Father teaches me through my emotions and what I go through.. just recently, He taught me the hurt He feels when He offers to help us and heal us, but we say "No thanks, I prefer my way,". I'm guilty of doing that.. I'm guilty of leaning on my own understanding, and relying on my own strength.

Oh Father.. if only we could love You as much as we should. Forgive us dear Lord.. Father, forgive us Oh Lord.. what can we do to make You happy? Who are we, sinners.. Forgive us Oh Father.. Forgive us dear Lord.. Oh, lead us back to You dear Lord..

Father, it's been too long.. living without Your presence so heavily in my life. Oh Lord, I long for the intimacy we had.. a year ago. Father, I want to wake up in Your arms.. and rest back in there at night. Father, I want to live in Your plan.. according to the plans You have prepared for me and each and every one of us. Oh Lord.. I want to live on Your love alone. Your grace is all I need.. Father, You are the very breath of life.. Father, there are many times when I walked without You, and fell.. It hurt, dear Lord. The scars and the wounds, they are still there.

Father.. would you come back into my life.. Lord, I'm sick of the excitement of Your presence. Lord, I long to be in your presence oh Lord.. to dwell in Your temple oh Lord. It's not the excitement we're after, Lord.. it is You. Father, fill our hearts once again with Your love.

In Jesus' name alone.. Amen.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Advertisement Break

Bad me.

This week, two people cried over me. They're not my admirers, they're not my lovers.. In fact, they're both girls!

Bad me.

What did I do?

Well.. First of all - it's not my fault.

Secondly, ... let me tell you what happened.


*****
Once upon a time, there was a little event called event X. Friend C was running and Friend X was cheering. According to Friend X, Friend C 'pecut' after Friend X screamed - so she was so touched until she cried.
End of Story 1.
*****
A day after once upon a time, Friend B realised (for the second time) that Friend C, L, Y and Z were leaving and this year would be the last time they met. Then, Friend B wept - in the midst of studying!
So this is a collective thing.. I'm not the sole reason, but part of it.
End of Story 2.
*****
The moral of the story is.. if we, imperfect sinners, know how to love each other - what more our Father in heaven, who is perfect and who is love, Himself?
This is a mystery my mind is trying to comprehend.. My emotions are still struggling to grasp this truth.
How big is God's love?
When will my spirit finally reveal to my soul - this unfathomable mystery?
I pray He reveals it to all of us. I bet, we will never be the same, once we fully comprehend.. once we finally understand - the love given by this God whom we call.. Yahweh.
God bless..

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Restore my spirit, Lord!

The three sessions with Pastor Mervin were awesome during the weekend.. It definitely came in season. Indeed, everything is beautiful in His time.

I'm sure many of our eyes were opened by the many things he shared with us. As for me, I was amazed when he said that God wants to comfort us. He is not the big high and mighty God who judges us from His throne without grace and mercy.

No.

God is a God of comfort.. He has come to live with us, to heal us and to bring us back to His presence.

I'm amazed because I realised that.. God doesn't leave anyone out. Many times I felt left out.. But now I know, I am important and precious NOT because of what I do - but because of who I am in Christ.

I can't imagine a greater love.. indeed, God IS love.

Hallelujah.. Bless your holy name, Oh Lord!

Amen.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

One way ticket

Aite.. I've booked my flight back. I'll be leaving the beautiful land of Sarawak on the 27th of Novermber, Friday.

It feels sad.. knowing that I won't come back until 2013.

Aih.. still have one more month to go.

For the first time, there's no return ticket back.

Exams coming on one and a half weeks! Do keep me in prayer, as well as the rest of my coursemates. This is our final exam which will determine whether we fly or not :)

God bless you all.. Stan's going back to Nigeria tomorrow, we will all miss his presence amongst our midst. He has been such a blessing to every one of us..

In fact, we are all blessings to each other..

Need to learn to thank God.. for we complete each other - one body many parts.

Quite exciting to go back home also :) I want to spend time with my family, my extended family, my friends and I feel like going to Singapore!! And I'm excited to be a more consistent member of the bible study group. Hopefully I will use my time wisely..

These past few days have been lacking in prayer. However, I always feel that I ought to read God's Word (Nehemiah especially!! Don't know why!) whenever I have free time or when I stop to think what I should do next.

Anyway, Pastor Mervin is preaching on Friday.. May the Lord minister to each and every one of us through him.

Hope you're all doing well.. I'm so sorry for not keeping in touch.. I'm really bad at messaging and all for a long time.

K k k.. God bless you guys :) :) May His love be with you all..

Monday, October 12, 2009

HALLELUJAH!

We're done with ALL OUR ASSIGNMENTS!! HALLELUJAH!!

Praise God!! Indeed, He has brought us through it all.. God is faithful and true!

These past few weeks have been so tiring.. so exhausting. I know I wouldn't have made it by my own strength.. I just hope I don't have to re-do any.

We've got a TITAS test today..

After that, it's exams!

Well, two papers this time.. Gotta read a lot for Lit.

Anyway.. I'm really glad. The dark days of assignments are finally over for this year.

Hallelujah.. the Lord is good. He is good indeed.

Amen.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Last Thursday marked the last TCF Meeting for us in Cohort 1, before we leave next year.

Moureen's text on Tuesday brought a pang of sadness.. I never realised it would be our last until we return in 2012.

TCF has been a part of my heart and my life.. I feel like it's a baby to me. Even though last year was tough and really pushed me past my boundaries - I learnt that the limit of our strength, is the beginning of His.

A prayer item would be to find a fellowship over in Otago..

The Lord will go before us and provide us with what He thinks best..
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Thy name..

Flatmates: Sailu, Liz, Shirley and Afiqah :)

I'm looking forward! I'm excited!

I wonder what our Father has in stall for us :D

I need to recover back the sleep I've not been getting.. I can wake up after a 3 hour nap and still feel so tired.

*yawn*

Mengantukkkkkkk..

Saturday, October 03, 2009

These past few days have been so hard.. Pushing me to the limit, not only in terms of our workload but also in my character.

I've been losing my patience.. been frustrated.. been annoyed.. been complaining.

Giving thanks has been hard.. emotions have been taking over.

It's time to say NO! Emotions, you will not control me!

This simple song, will be a song a declaration in my heart..

Semua baik
Semua baik
Apa yang t'lah kau perbuat di dalam hidupku
Semua baik
Semua teramat baik
Kau jadikan hidup bererti
AMEN!