It's been exactly a year since I got back in touch with a friend so dear to me..
Sometimes I wonder how long more our friendship will last, fearing what had happen would repeat itself again.
But thank God.. one year has passed, and we're still on talking terms. Sometimes, it's as though we're the best of friends.
I just pray that this friendship will last forever.. it indeed is very dear to me, and I've learnt a lot.
I've learnt that we can't run away from trials and temptations. Even Jesus was tempted. What we can do, is overcome.
I've learnt that loving one another is not by words or sweets, it's by being patient, kind, polite, hopefuly, ... (as in 1 Corinthians). And indeed, it is not easy - but it's never too late to start!
I've learnt that people change, but the Lord is good - and He never changes. He is always there, as you cry and as you smile. He is always guiding you, and teaching you.. showing you the right thing to do.
I've learnt that I can only love God as much as I love my brothers and sisters.. and through loving my brothers and sisters, I've learnt that I don't love enough. In fact, my love for Him is so small.. but may our cry be that He enlarges the tents of our hearts.
I've learnt many things over the course of one year.. every day is a new challenge, and a new lesson. Sometimes they come in little drops, sometimes they come in a flood.
Thank God for opening my eyes.. teaching me and guiding me. He has held me, even through my backaches.. my heartaches.. my pain, sorrow and joy.
Thank you Father, for such a wonderful friend.. and for such a precious friendship.
Most of all, thank You Lord.. for your love. Having You in my life, is greater than any other thing. Having You in my life brings meaning to every other thing. How could I live without You, Father?
Lord.. this is my love letter to you. Sometimes I feel ashamed to post it.. but I'll post it this once. Hopefully I don't take it down. No, it's okay.. I'll leave it up even to my shame.
Many times the Father teaches me through my emotions and what I go through.. just recently, He taught me the hurt He feels when He offers to help us and heal us, but we say "No thanks, I prefer my way,". I'm guilty of doing that.. I'm guilty of leaning on my own understanding, and relying on my own strength.
Oh Father.. if only we could love You as much as we should. Forgive us dear Lord.. Father, forgive us Oh Lord.. what can we do to make You happy? Who are we, sinners.. Forgive us Oh Father.. Forgive us dear Lord.. Oh, lead us back to You dear Lord..
Father, it's been too long.. living without Your presence so heavily in my life. Oh Lord, I long for the intimacy we had.. a year ago. Father, I want to wake up in Your arms.. and rest back in there at night. Father, I want to live in Your plan.. according to the plans You have prepared for me and each and every one of us. Oh Lord.. I want to live on Your love alone. Your grace is all I need.. Father, You are the very breath of life.. Father, there are many times when I walked without You, and fell.. It hurt, dear Lord. The scars and the wounds, they are still there.
Father.. would you come back into my life.. Lord, I'm sick of the excitement of Your presence. Lord, I long to be in your presence oh Lord.. to dwell in Your temple oh Lord. It's not the excitement we're after, Lord.. it is You. Father, fill our hearts once again with Your love.
In Jesus' name alone.. Amen.
