Dirty Laundry

2012-02-12T14:02:00.002+08:00

"22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does. "

James 1:22-25

Yesterday at retreat, the night session was so filled with the Holy Spirit - that people who had issues, were set free from spiritual bondage.

Brothers and sisters, it is important that we forgive - unforgiveness, bitterness and hate opens up the door for the enemy.

I was filled with so much anger at how the enemy has ruined so many people's lives, how he could simply step on people and mess up their lives - causing so much hurt and pain. I felt also very sad in my spirit, because of all these people have gone through.. there must be a lot of pain. It is true, the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. And I hate him, so much, for the misery he wants to cause people.

We live in a broken world, full of broken people.

Only God can heal, only Jesus is the way, the truth and the life - no one goes to the Father except through Him.

Trust Him.

The desire for more..

2012-02-11T10:46:00.003+08:00

Today, Nick and I had breakfast with Joshua, who worked with a forestry agency..

It was really interesting to hear all his stories in the jungle, interacting with the local people.

He told us about a 15-year-old boy who dropped out of education after Standard 6 as the place was so rural that there was only a primary school there. If he were to continue, he would have to go out of his longhouse to a nearby town. But, the lack of awareness of the benefits of education wasn't there - and so he didn't bother continuing his studies.

What does this imply to teachers, especially us who are in the primary school sector?

Well, our job goes beyond giving students an education. It's making them see the need or importance of education in this modern society, and developing in them a desire to know more and want a better future for their lives.

It's not to say that their life isn't good, but there can be more to it..

But looking back, whose life is better?

A city life, or staying in a developed area isn't a bed of roses.. Traffic jam, materialism, the pressure to be productive, competition for jobs, crime due to the unequal distribution of wealth - is city life really that good?

I wouldn't mind a simple life, in a little small town.. (well, at least that's what I'm thinking for now, I'm not sure if it will be how I imagined it to be)

I would like to live a simple life, to be able to be content with having minimal..

Chinese New Year shopping, Christmas gifts, courtesy gifts, birthday gifts - are these all necessary?

We live in a world that most of the population is dealing with poverty, they don't even have their basic needs like food or water met - how is it that we, privileged to be the comfortable minority living in luxury - can live with not only our necessity, but spend our resources on what is unnecessary, when others don't have their necessity??

There are so many problems in the world which I don't have the solution for it.. Even if I did, I don't think I'd be able to stretch myself to solve everyone's problem.

But God knew all the problems we have, even more than any human knows, and He gave one solution that would solve the ultimate problem which is separation from God.

He sent His Son, who was a part of the Godhead of the trinity, Jesus. Jesus came down in human form, being both God (in spirit, I believe) and man (having a flesh and nature like us) - lived a sinless life despite being vulnerable to all temptations like us - and gave His life as the ultimate sacrifice for sin, so that man and God will be separated no more.

But it is up to us to invite Jesus into our life, and accept Him who gave his life for us as our Lord, and receive the salvation which he bought with his divine blood.

This, is love.

Trials

2012-02-03T22:36:00.002+08:00

These past few days have been tough.

I've been having arguments with someone I'm really close to, due to our differences.

But I've finally got it - I know what I want to do, in this life.

I want to finish running this race.

Amen!

2012-01-27T17:40:00.002+08:00

Lord.. teach me to wait on you - "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

I'm sick of growing weary, of falling and picking myself up again after failing the Lord..

So sick of all this.. but what does it mean to wait?

Just.. to wait?

May I taste and realize the truth of these words..

2012-01-26T08:20:00.001+08:00

⁷ The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
⁸ The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
⁹ The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The decrees of the LORD are firm,
and all of them are righteous.

¹⁰ They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the honeycomb.
¹¹ By them your servant is warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.

Psalm 19:7-11

2012-01-14T22:56:00.002+08:00

I'm back! Back in Malaysia, back in Kuching - it's good to be back.

Back, to finish my final degree year.

Back, to continue the adventure.

God is good and His love endures forever!

Bubble Wrap

2011-10-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

I have a huge 300mm x 100m roll of bubble wrap sitting beside me right now.

As I felt the bubbles of the outer layer, resisting the temptation to pop one of those fat and plump bubbles, it dawned upon me - isn't God a bit like bubble wrap?

I've been making many mistakes these past few days, mainly because of an unbridled tongue.

But despite my mistakes and how much I felt I've failed God and ruined everything, He still holds me in His hand.

That's why I feel that God's somewhat like bubble wrap.

We fall, but He prevents us from breaking.

Corny?

But it's real!

The next time you slip up and think you've messed up everything - remember that He still protects you, even though you fall. It may hurt, you may feel the ground, but He protects you from breaking and falling apart.

Exactly a month to go

2011-10-25T02:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I was made aware of two things about remembering and faith.

In regards to remembering,

"The best picture is always the one in front of you." - meaning, there's nothing like the present. And then it dawned upon me, it is true! When you're in the present, you experience IT in all 5 senses - you feel the warm breeze and the pavement, you smell the fresh air or someone's dinner, you hear the birds chirping or noisy trucks go by, you see what's in front of you ever so clearly without having pixels get in your way due to bad quality/resolution and if you're eating a sweet, you taste the sweet - otherwise, you've just got your stale saliva :P

In regards to faith,

Faith is knowing and believing something is there - not trying to think or believe it into existence, just knowing that it IS! Just like when you're in a room, with the lights switched off. Whether you believe there's a shoe on the table, doesn't change the fact that there's a shoe on the table or whether there's not. Faith is simply knowing what IS.

Seize the day!

2011-10-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

There are just a few weeks left, yet I miss Malaysia.

I miss Malaysia, yet things will never be the same again.

Basically, I'm hoping for a future that would be like my past.

But the past is always sweet, because it's hard to remember bitter memories..

All you're left with from the past, is sweet sweet memories.

..which is nice, but it shouldn't hold one back from engaging in a totally new future.

*****

Anyway, I never knew exactly where I'd like to be posted to when I start teaching.. until now :)

Currently, it's Miryam's kampung at Lundu, Kampung Baru Dayak or something.

Let's see whether it comes true!

Wohoo :) Nick and I are planning a joint birthday celebration-plus-farewell on Nov 2. Do keep us in prayer as it'll be a busy time!

Julie, I hope you're reading - HI! Hope to see you in Kuching next year! :)

"The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath"

2011-10-01T17:27:00.000+08:00

What is a Sabbath rest?

Well, it's in keeping with one of the 10 Commandments which is to keep the Sabbath day holy and refrain from doing any work.

Today was a wonderful day - I was able to claim this Sabbath rest after such a long period. Today has been the best day I've had in such a long time, in many months.

I really thank God for family and friends, who actually are long-lost family. Well, if we share the same Father in heaven, that does make us family right?

:) My time in NZ is coming to an end, 2 months more and I'm feeling .. ready.

Ready to move on, ready to see what's next, ready for what God has used NZ to prepare me for.

I'm ready to go home, I'm ready to love my family and care for them like I never felt I needed to.

I'm ready to serve my country and pray for my people.

I'm ready to go home.. but first, I've got to say goodbye and finish what has been started here :)

God is good!

I'll updating more often here since I can't really access FB much :)

Last Semester 1 in OU

2011-06-03T18:41:00.002+08:00

Finally, it's over.

Over, over, over.

We've survived 18 assessments, and many late nights. Not to forget, all those unexpected events which the Lord always brings at the very time you need time.

But, He has proven Himself to be faithful and true.

How many assignments have I flunked because of something that happened?

How many exams have I scored badly because I work six days a week, as opposed to seven?

None!

The results I get, whatever grade it is on the continuum, is far better than what I can achieve or what I deserve. I truly believe Rule 1 of success, is honour God - obey His commandments because it is good for you. Not because you will be punished, because Jesus has taken the punishment for those who believe in Him.

But because they are good.

Taste, and see that the Lord is good.

His mercy endures forever.

Amen.

Your statutes are wonderful; therefore I obey them. The unfoldingof your words gives lights; it gives understanding to the simple. Ps 119:129-130

2011-05-26T06:31:00.002+08:00

continued..

I open my mouth and pantm longing for your commands. Ps 119:131

One of the commands God gave to whoever became the King of Israel was to have the Book of the Law, the Torah, by their side and meditate on it day and night.

If it were me, I'd find myself feeling a little reluctant to be the king (not that I am, or ever will be) knowing that I'd have to read the Torah in and out.

However, David was different. Look at his heart - he loved, and panted for God's commands. Such an intense desire and delight in the law of God, because it brings light and understanding. He says they are 'wonderful'.

No wonder he was made King of Israel, from a young shepherd boy.

David did not love God and His law because it was his duty as King. Rather, he was made King because He loved the Lord! He was a man after God's own heart.

How about our hearts, what are they after?

Honour the Lord, delight in Him.. you will experience living water which never runs out.

In all

2011-05-16T19:20:00.002+08:00

Be thou exalted through my shame and scum,

Be thou exalted through my pride and fall,

Be thou exalted from the rising to the setting sun,

Be thou exalted, in it all.

God, indeed.

2011-04-25T17:11:00.002+08:00

As he said, he did - Jesus died, and three days later rose again.

As he said, he will - come back and judge mankind.

As he separates the goats from the sheep, who will you be?

I'm not suprised if Jesus comes back in this generation - I could almost imagine it during retreat.

And during his second coming, will you be ready - will you be prepared?

What would you say to him?

No excuses to the one who sees all.

Comfort, from the one who sees all.

Praise be to God forever and ever!

What's almost as good as heaven?

2011-04-12T19:30:00.001+08:00

Witnessing the captives set free. Hallelujah! This is nothing university or college can give you. Victory is in the name of Jesus, and in His name alone. Learning so much and thankful. Lets see captives set free in Jesus' name - AMEN!

It begins here.

2011-04-08T05:53:00.003+08:00

Unconsciously, I always think the grass is greener on the other side. But hey hey hey, looks like what was there is as bad as what used to be here. In fact, there becomes the new here. The longer you stay, the most you see - nothing is as beautiful as it seems. Nothing, except the love of God. He gives us hope, he gives us joy. I know for sure, heaven won't disappoint us, as how the world does. So I look forward, and keep running the race. Lets reach the end.. the joy of the Lord is our strength.

Hurricanes, storms and earthquakes

2011-03-02T16:53:00.002+08:00

In the midst of the busyness, I find emptiness.

Daddy, let me find you. Let my heart rest in you, my head buried in your hands - seeking for your mercy and grace to live this life.

Lord, many are the inequities of this nation - many are mine.

Have mercy oh Lord, and turn our eyes back on you.

Grace

Regrets?

2011-03-01T00:54:00.002+08:00

Back in Form 5, I still remember the reaction of several people who came to know that I desired to be a teacher. One said "Why become a teacher? Not good lah become a teacher.." - ironically enough, she was a teacher herself. Another said "There are many other ways of helping people," - seeing it simply as a means to help others. The final one I remember didn't even have to say anything, her face said it all - it looked as if she was in between horrified and shocked.

..be a teacher? ME?

I told myself from upper primary to lower secondary I wanted a job that was easy, earned lots of money and glamourous. Mum received TCF's regular magazine and I was looking at the cover which asked you - are you called to be a teacher? I said to myself, and I remember so clearly - "Even if this is what God meant for me to do, I will NEVER become a teacher,"

Turns out.. God has amazing ways to change our heart, and lead us to the path He has set for us.

When I was reborn in spirit, God touched me and opened my eyes through Ps. Cheli that indeed, a teacher can do more than help people - a teacher can change lives. You can be that point in one's life that makes a difference for eternity.

Looking back, do I regret choosing the path of becoming a teacher? Not at all.

Did God force me to be what I didn't want? No way! Our kind and loving God opened my eyes to see what I was made for all along. Not that I'm going to be a perfect teacher, but I am certain that this is where I would find the most enjoyment in working, I believe. I can't imagine myself working in an office, or doing broadcasting my whole life.

Since I started following the path I believe God had designated for me, blessings have just been pouring out and I know all this has come as a result of obedience to God and submission to His will. This is just one area in life which I have submitted to him, but I know that there will be plenty of others which I will need to - particularly in my love life, family, finance.

However, one thing I know for sure is that God does not lead his sheep astray. Follow him, obey him and he will burst out the heavens with blessings upon your life, and your generations to come.

If you find it hard, ask God to help you and lead you gently.. He will not force you. God is a gentle Father. He discplines when He needs to, but never forces.

Looking back, life has been absolutely wonderful since God touched my spirit, opened my eyes and let me see.

I've been able to drop the subject I hated the most - would have failed it or tortured myself at trying to pass, if I didn't. I've been what I think is the best campus for me, in Kuching. I've met amazing people who have played significant roles in my life and growing up as a disciple of Christ. I've witnessed miracle after miracle, prayers answered and lives being healed. I've grown in Christ much more than I ever would on my own. I've been taken care of throughout college and uni. I've been covered for financially since I left home. I've passed all my subjects with flying colours. I've been able to see the other side of Malaysia. I've never had to experience poverty or hunger. I've travelled to New Zealand and had my family over. I've experienced studying abroad, and know that there's nothing else like home.

Am I bragging? If I am, may it all be for Christ's glory - because He is the giver of all good things.

Nothing up there, would I be able to achieve on my own. My family wouldn't be able to afford to send me to Otago Uni, I wouldn't be able to grow spiritually on my own, I wouldn't be able to obtain the results I had with my poor studying habits, I can't afford the lifestyle and experiences I have had - if not for Christ.

Through Him, we know the Father. And we know our heavenly Father gives us bread, and not snakes. He blesses us beyond what our own hands can earn.

I won't say life has been a breeze, no - far from that. Life has been challenging but also, exciting.

With God, life is more than a journey.

It's an adventure.

So get on it, and get into God.

Brutally honest

2011-02-01T19:28:00.001+08:00

Right now, here in my personal space.. I'm not ashamed to say that Jesus is the best thing that has happened to me. He turned my life around, and gave me life - REAL life. Life that no one else could give, life that required sacrifice to combat sin and death.

Lord, you have given me life.. Only those who have never experienced you can mock me. Otherwise, you know it's true.

Life can only be found in Him.

All praise be to God!

Chinese New Year 2011

2011-01-30T16:03:00.002+08:00

Last year with Chinese New Year being one of the very first few days in NZ.. I wasn't too sad - new place, new environment - exciting!

However, with one year passing by.. I'm really starting to miss home. With Chinese New Year coming, the homesickness doesn't get any better.

To comfort myself, I'll try baking some stuff :) Liz, Vivian and I have tried making some pineapple tarts last week. I'm definitely inspired by Tida, or Jennifer as we all know her, to bake as she bakes so effortlessly. Her flatmate Janet, is awesome too! I'm so glad they're staying so nearby, it's nice to have people nearby especially with Su moving to Auckland this year.

I miss home dearly, and the food even more. I think about Malaysian food everyday. Hopefully this craving, longing.. and agony, will soon go away.

OCF planning has been good, things are settling into place by the Grace of God. We're just asking around for hands to help cook a big pot of something to feed around 80 people. If anyone who reads this is interested to help out, please do contact me :) We'd love all the help we can get!

I've not had the motivation to blog recently. But just today, it came :) After a good phone call with mum telling me how her day has been and the adventures she had.

I miss home.. yes, it's the second time I'm saying this. Do you get the message now? Buy me a ticket!! Quickly!! :P

But I know there's so much that needs to be done before we go home. God is still pruning me and teaching me many stuff - especially in terms of pride and ego. He still has a lot to do with me, and the process can be very pain. But in all this we know that God is good.

We need to pull our socks up, buck up and be ready with the armour of God - the helmet of salvation, the sword of the spirit which is the word of God, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith and feet equipped with the readiness which comes from the gospel of peace. (Eph 6:14-17)

Remember this brothers and sisters, the enemy is a prowling lion waiting to devour you.. so be on guard, be alert and always be in the Spirit - for it will bring you life. I have experienced moments of 'fleshiness', and can truly testify that it brings you death. I almost became suicidal to one point, but thanks be to God, who is forever praised.. Amen.

Remain in fellowship, seek help and prayer, and always look to the Lord - He is our refuge and strength, our very help in times of need. He will never fail you nor forsake you. He has great plans for your life, for all of His children and all who He calls by name.

God, our Father loves you.. He sent Jesus Christ, his Son who himself was God, to die for us while we were still sinners. And after Jesus ascended to heaven, He sent the Holy Spirit - who is also God, to help us and empower us.

May the Grace of God be with you.

Amen.

To be honest..

2011-01-29T12:16:00.002+08:00

I really really miss home.

But Lord, please teach me to appreciate my present surroundings.

Before it's too late.

I am a New Creation

2011-01-24T02:17:00.002+08:00

Christ has died to set us free. He took our sins upon himself, bore it on the cross, DIED and rose again proving that HE is the Son of the Living God.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2

Many things in the Bible are foreign and alien to us, but through time and prayer He will make all things known to us.

The most important step is obedience, and faith in the Word of God and God himself.

God bless

homesick 101

2011-01-20T13:01:00.001+08:00

i miss malaysia. i miss malaysia. i miss malaysia.
i miss kl. i miss kl. i miss kl.
i miss subang. i miss subang.
i miss kuching. i miss kuching.
i miss friends. i miss friends. i miss friends.

Two Lessons from Lemongrass

2011-01-08T13:28:00.001+08:00

1. If you don't need a job, don't look for one.

2. If it is for you, God will draw you.

2011

2011-01-04T03:02:00.003+08:00

Lord God, my mind says.. have your way and let your will be done, every step of the way. No longer I but Christ who lives in me. Let the flesh rot away and the Spirit thrive in me. To deny myself is a lesson we must all learn.

Lord, have your way in me.

And so it ends.

2010-12-26T19:05:00.002+08:00

The big trip is over! Mum, dad and James have come and gone. All the planning has been put into action. Everything worked out well and God was in control, amen.

I can honestly tell you that God is the best planner of all. He has EVERYONE's best interest in mind and makes it so enjoyable that EVERYONE benefits.

Each of us played a different part - one the driver, one the planner, one the banker, one the caretaker and one.. the clown.

God is beautiful and everything He does is amazing.

Can I hear a hallelujah?

Praise the Lord!

The Journey..

2010-12-09T00:58:00.002+08:00

My family coming here has always been the cry of my heart.. As I settled down in New Zealand, my cooking skills improved and I longed to cook for my family so that dine-in and take aways will be no more. There will be homecooked food everyday - cheap, tasty and healthy.

For my 21st birthday, my mum asked me a month or two before October 31st - "What would you like for your birthday present?"

In all honesty, I replied - for them to come here.

Sadly, my mum said she wasn't sure if they would be able to grant that request.

However, the Lord God Almighty can and has. Them, coming here, is a miracle!

Miracle after miracle, God's grace and goodness becomes so real to us. The impossible, has been made possible with an Almighty God!

However, this is not after facing many obstacles.. e.g. airplane tickets, making mistakes because of rushing things, etc.

First obstacle was budget. How was I going to find a flight ticket for three of them, that would fit our budget, and also our timing? Mum had to be back bythe 27th and the only available and affordable flights were during Christmas.

The plan was to take AirAsia back and forth from Melbourne, with Air NZ flying to and fro between Melbourne and NZ. However, I stupidly split up payment for AirAsia - buying only KL to Melbourne. That mistake made the air ticket RM1000 more expensive! This is because buying a one way ticket from Melbourne to KL would be in AUD. Why didn't I think before buying?! I had to split it up because I was in a hurry, fearing that the prices would go up and tickets would sell out.

How?? HOW?!?!?! Die. DIE! - but children of God shouldn't react like this - instead, we should pray, Pray, PRAY!!

I tell you, my mind and heart was so troubled. For the first time in OCF, I could barely pay attention. I asked people to pray for me and with me. Nick and I stayed up late at night to look for flights online. After trying nearly airline, we gave up and decided to give it a break. Before that, Angie felt God leading us to a travel agency on Tuesday.

It was a Thursday night.

Can you imagine how much anxiety I had in between?!?! Sleepless nights! Horrible! Tossing and turning, not knowing what will happen. Will we have to pay more?

Pray, worry, pray, worry -> this shows how faithless I am and how little I trusted God to take care of it all.

So here's the miracle: Tuesday morning, I search Malaysian Airlines and out of the blue, a flight around the same time as the intended AirAsia flight, appears! The price? Almost the same as AirAsia, but slighty cheaper by a few ringgit. However, you get so much more out of it! Food, luggage, entertainment.. what more can you ask for in such a situation? Of course, a cheaper deal.

Going to the travel agency confirmed that the Malaysian Airlines deal was indeed the best, in our position. So I rushed home to buy it.

On my way back, mum called me up and told me how much Air NZ charged her credit card. Praise the Lord! Even though the tickets returning from Melbourne to KL cost more than the original AirAsia tickets, it was still around the budget! Just RM100 extra, which isn't too bad! God had turned this mistake into a wonderful suprise. Now I'm so thankful that they are going back comfortably with Malaysian Airlines, after a long trip.

There's so much more to praise God for.. but I'll leave it here. Your eyes are probably tired, or lost within the sea of words.

Mum, dad and James are coming tomorrow. I can't wait! I've been doing so much shopping that they won't need to shop much for souvenirs (well, for candies at least). Honestly, I know this plan for our 2 weeks will work out not because of my own strength, but because of the Lord.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge HIM and He will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Friends, ONLY Jesus saves. He does not condemn or judge you for your sins, but died to replace the death and punishment that sin has brought us.

Whatever you may believe, be sure that it is the truth.

I Need You More

2010-11-14T14:43:00.002+08:00

I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You Lord
More than words can say I need You more
Than ever before I need You Lord, I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe
More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything, and Lord as time goes by
Ill be by Your side
Cause I never want to go back to my old life

I need You more
Right here in Your presence is where I belong
Now my broken heart has finally found a home
And I'll never be alone

Today, I woke up troubled. Why? I don't know. The Lord knows. Maybe it's since mum told me she felt troubled over this trip to NZ. Lord God, I pray for peace within her heart. Lord God, let it not be a stumbling block but an indicator that something great is going to happen - something that the enemy is trying to stop. Oh Lord God! Grant us your peace and your comfort.

Oh Lord God.. I can't wait to go to Welly. I know I'll be talked to, ministered to, spoken to.. I know I won't come back empty handed. I know Lord, you have greater plans for all of us.

So I offer up my life.. Lord, take my empty life and use it for your purposes. Forgive me for my pride and judgements. Oh Lord God, convict me and humble me before Your throne..

Father, there is no other place than I want to be besides Your throne.. at your feet oh Lord. Oh Lord Godm we yearn for You and Your presence.. Lord God, accept our lives as a living sacrifice. Let us live nothing other than your perfect will.

In Jesus' name,
Amen

Hallelujah!

2010-10-28T13:53:00.002+08:00

We're done and over with our exams :) Shakespeare was dreadful - enjoyed reading it whilst studying but writing about it, nah uh.. not my thing.

Anyway, we've got so many things lined up until the end of December -I'm excited!

School observation, social stuff for college, short road trip, Student Leadership Conference, family coming and major road trip.

We're going to be busy and tired.. but Emmanuel - God with us, hallelujah!

Thank You Lord!

2010-10-25T04:36:00.002+08:00

Yesterday at church, everyone was so encouraged by the last session of Term 2 at School of Leaders. We practiced the gift of the Spirit, and I was so amazed at how He would let us practise and gain confidence. I certainly did!

Honestly, it was such a stepping stone for me in terms of confidence in myself and the Holy Spirit..

Right now, I'm learning to be still. It's very hard, despite all that I've gone through and learnt. Looks like God's still pruning me in those areas, and looks like those areas do need to be pruned!

May the Lord be with us all.. Amen

Yearning for something more

2010-10-12T18:47:00.001+08:00

For such an intimate worship.. Oh Lord.

My Dream

2010-10-04T18:52:00.003+08:00

A man said to me,

"Don't look up to anyone. The only person who you should look up to is God."

I hope to marry him one day.

More than Enough

2010-10-03T16:09:00.002+08:00

Nick and I got a job with NEMP as Student Markers - Praise the Lord! There's a story behind this, ASK US :)

I'm typing from my own little netbook, blessings from God man. Didn't even need one leh! Well, he knows my needs better than I do. And he has blessed me with more than enough.

We had an awesome lunch with Lesley, Chris and the other who are under First Contact. To be honest, I love doing what I do on Sundays - the joy of the Lord! Praise Him!

These past 2 weeks have been rough, not only for me but for the people close to my heart. Praise the Lord, He has brought us through - He has brought BREAKTHROUGHS in our lives! Hallelujah!

When peace like a river, attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

"It is well, it is well, with my soul,"

2010-09-10T17:39:00.002+08:00

The last week has had its set of challenges.

My laptop's screen and battery's not working, after I accidentally dropped it while rushing to class. I can get rather frustrated when I think how it didn't have to happen, it could have been avoided.

However, I know the grace of God will bring me through it.

Currently, not feeling any compulsion to buy a new one or to tell my parents.

I'll learn to adapt and just wait for it.

It?

Wait for what God brings.

A sign, direction.. a leading.

The peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard our hearts and mind in Christ Jesus. [Phillipians]

This peace alone can he give. Amen.

It's not hard to complain, ay?

2010-09-06T15:04:00.002+08:00

Forgive me for tagging my sentence like a Kiwi would, but.. isn't it true - it doesn't take much effort to complain?

In fact, sometimes complaining is regarded as a way to vent out your frustrations, to ease and loosen up your emotions.

Often times, it's very hard to be thankful.

Trust me, I know how hard it is. It really takes some tough moments to open your eyes.

Last night, I was complaining to God..

"WHYYY?? Why of ALL things you give me THIS assignment?? It's horrible!!!"

After I finished cooking my porridge, I commented to Shirley..

"It's so plain, not the way I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be crunchy.. "

When I first came to NZ, it was TERRIBLY cold for me. I cried and complained to God

"WHY?? It's so cold and miserable here.. I'm far away from home. I wanna go back to Kuching"

:( :( :(

Until now, I still haven't learnt my lesson thoroughly..

As I began to eat, suddenly I felt the Holy Spirit urging me to give thanks.. and I said "Lord God, thank you that I have all I need to eat. Thank you that what I'm eating is not tasteless, that I have veggie and that I have a choice of what I want to eat."

After I cried out to God and complained about the cold.. I was reminded that there are homeless people out there in the strong and harsh winds. Thank you Lord that I have a roof on top of my head.

Many things in NZ are expensive - thank God I can even afford them to complain about 'em! Some people don't even have a choice to buy certain stuff.

So what things in your life have you been taking for granted?

I know there are many areas in mine.

Let's learn to thank God together, that's the key to realising how much we've been blessed and to be grateful.

God bless you guys :)

Rekindling history

2010-09-02T05:47:00.002+08:00

Today, I had the urge to look up my father's old emails from when he was in Utah for 9 months. That was in 2004, when I sat for my PMR. Having grown up and matured from who I used to be, I look back at his words with laughter and tears in my eyes.

The dad whom I used to scorn and shout at, is really quite wise after all. Why did I not have the respect for him?

It's only now that I look back.. I realise how good he is to me, and how much he loved (and still loves) both me and my brother equally.

(though my uncle would say the opposite, that my dad favours me more)

This part of his email brought tears to my eyes..

"You need not have to do extremely well in your PMR. You are good in your English. I hope you can do well in Maths and Science. Other subjects are less important. For example a lot of things you learn from history may not be relevant to your future life. The most important thing is you must know what you enjoy to work when you have grown up. You need to tell me that after your Form Five. I will help you. You can even say I am interested to be a cook, a bus driver, a music teacher or to be a missionary. Dad."

I never remembered this.
I never remembered him telling me I need to know what I'd enjoy for work.
I never remembered him saying that I need to tell him that after Form 5.
I never remembered dad saying "I will help you."
I never remembered him encouraging me to be something no one else wanted.

I always forget.

Like Israel, I am so forgetful.

Yet, He is good.. He is so good to me.

Father, I pray you bless my father.. let him know you as you know me. Lord, let him come into your abundant mercy. This I pray, in Jesus' name.. Amen.

2010-09-01T13:44:00.002+08:00

By night we hasten in the darkness,
To search for living water.
Only our thirst leads us onward,
Only our thirst leads us onward.

Sonya taught us this taize song during retreat and after getting an assignment back with unexpected feedback I realise it is true - only living water can quench our thirst.

Material things, food, experience, music, memories.. can only fill us temporarily.

Only living water can satisfy our thirst for Him..

Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirst again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thist, Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14

I know it's a bit too late but Happy Ramadhan people!

2010-08-27T23:03:00.002+08:00

Many years later, I feel the pain I caused my mum to feel.

I want to go back and take care of her, and dad.

I miss them so much :(

And James too, even though he doesn't talk to me on the phone. (or maybe especially because of that)

Anyhow, I've still got so much learning to do.. Learning to love.

I really hope God and now declare in faith that God will bring revelation to us in retreat.

Only He can change our lives..

Raindrops

2010-08-21T19:58:00.000+08:00

My tears used to be salty, now they're sweet.

I wonder why..

Searching high and low

2010-08-20T07:17:00.003+08:00

To be honest, I've been trying to contact Irena.. I text her, no reply. No facebook, don't even know her email.

Irena Zaharina binti Abdul Halim! Where art thou?

If you ever search, google or yahoo your name - I hope you land here.

What happened to my childhood playmate? I've not heard anything from you since forever. Once I go back, I'm going to look for you and chain you to me.

IRENA! Where art thou? Daughter of Uncle Halim and Aunty Nor, sister of Ida and Irni.. di mana kau??

A passion for Your name

2010-08-20T06:46:00.002+08:00

These past few days have been tiring and even though I have time and want to read the Bible - I don't feel like it. I keep telling God.. I want a hunger for it! I want to look through your word with such an appetite for every single thing that you want to say.

And after a few days of deprivation of His word.. I read Paul's letters yesterday.

I tell you.. the zeal he has for God and the sacrifices he has made would stir you up and make you want to live your whole life for God. So if you're feeling dry - read it! I urge you, read it! Let him encourage you (well, let God encourage you through him!).

Read the words of who I think is one of the greatest convert - Paul of Tarsus.

If he had a CV, it'd be:

Former gospel persecutor, presently a Christ crusader.

In the midst of trials and sufferings

2010-08-08T15:32:00.002+08:00

These past few days have been one of the toughest, emotionally.

These were days when the smallest thing could make me snap, when Nick would be the victim of my tantrum and fury, when I didn't want anyone close to me. Well, with some exception, of course.. after I cooled down :)

But it's in the midst of these tough and terrible times, that I fully appreciate and enjoy spending time with God..

I've been missing songs in my heart, and now they've come back.

Just sitting alone, gives me the opportunity to talk to him...

Walking to class, although tired and late, would be a chance to walk with him..

It's in the midst of the hardship and my failures, that I understand God's grace - that I truly enjoy and appreciate his presence in my life.

Lord, you are good.. and your mercy endures forever.

Angel in Secret

2010-07-26T13:54:00.003+08:00

To the person who shouted my name,

You do not know what a difference it made.

Thank you :)

When?

2010-07-20T07:17:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder..

When will the pain end?

When will I wake up without a sore neck, aching shoulders or a painful back?

When, Lord, will you heal me?

It seems like I can't even remember the last time I didn't have something aching or hurting in my body..

One day, we'll go to that place where no pain or tear will exist.

Our Lord will take us home.. Amen.

2010-07-18T18:28:00.001+08:00

Lyrics Gateway Worship lyrics - Revelation Song lyrics

I'm trying to be strong.. - Patience by Take That

2010-07-14T14:31:00.002+08:00

These past few days have been a test of patience, humility and failure..

Failure because, I've been falling over and over again in times of trials when patience and humility was most needed.

On top of that, I've not been able to be still before Him.

To be honest, I'm at a point where I don't want encouragement from people.

I want Him.

Father, why is it that I have to try so hard? When it shouldn't be so hard, after all.

Somehow, you know when you're under attack. And it's always during your driest and darkest period. And also, when you're PMSing.

Worries, panic attacks, anxiousness, doubt.. fear.

I need to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.
I need to consistently spend time with Him.

Funny how I type some statements which express 'if only's but my mind quickly rebukes it and tells me off.

Is it my mind, or the Holy Spirit?

Anyhow, the truth will set us free.

Amen.

Here In Your Presence

2010-07-05T19:39:00.000+08:00

Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence

Heaven in trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom arestanding amazed

Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Who am I?

2010-06-23T01:06:00.002+08:00

Lord, if you have use for filthy rags in the kingdom of heaven..

Here I am, Father..

Here I am.

Use me.

2010-06-18T06:49:00.002+08:00

"Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful." Mark 4:19-19

I never thought I would be like the seed that fell among the thorns.. I thought the word mean the gospel itself, but only did yesterday God showed me that the word was everything Jesus spoke to the people!

"With many similar parables Jesus spoke the word to them, as much as they could understand." Mark 4:33

So seeds don't mean just the gospel itself, but what the Lord has commanded us - to love our enemies, to lend and not ask back, to turn the other cheek.. oh Lord, have mercy!

I've been guilty of having thorns in my life.. allowing them to choke the very gospel that brings life and brought me life. May our Lord take those thorns out of my life, and may the seeds produce crop many more times what had been sown.

I never thought that that particular soil would apply to me until 2 days ago when God convicted me of how I had allowed the worries of the world, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desire for other things to squeeze and choke the joy of the Lord.

I do hope that this will be a turning point for me.. that I will stop buying what's unneccesary, stop complaining and thinking that I have no money, stop being ungrateful.

Need to continuously put into practice what Paul says -

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

One thing

2010-06-16T19:56:00.002+08:00

If there's one thing I could get rid of right now.. (my eczema is gone! praise God! Hallelujah! I'm just wondering about my brother.. Nevertheless, there's such a big difference - praise the Lord!)

Ok ok.. back to the point.

If there's one thing I could get rid of right now..

It would be my impulsive spending habit.

I NEED TO STOP BUYING UNNECESSARY THINGS THAT WILL ONLY MAKE ME HAPPY TEMPORARILY!!!

Seriously.

I'm only happy until I have to pay for it.

Once I reach home - I forget.

When I recall the amount of money I've spent - I forget.

When I go to the supermarket again - I forget.

I forget what I buy, what I've bought and what I don't need to buy!!!

So yes, this is one thing which I'm (and hope you will help me do so too!) keeping in prayer - that I will be disciplined in my spending.

Nick, Cass, Mel, Rhenu and I are going to Christchurch and Queenstown this 24th. MORE SPENDING!

Congrats to 2nd Subang for winning the singing competition - we've finally won it! Well, not that anyone would read this but it's just so that I don't forget. I can look back one day, read this and remember it.

K k.. bye bye!

In his shoes

2010-06-13T18:54:00.002+08:00

To be honest, now I know how it feels to be in my brother's shoes.

Itchy, scratching.. everywhere and everyday.

I feel it now and it's so uncomfortable.

You're so cold - you want heat! But heat only aggravates the itchiness.

Scratch sratch scratch.. it never ends.

It never will.

But I'll fight you and conquer you through prayer!

God will heal me as He has healed many.

He'll heal my brother and He'll heal me..

Eczema, you just watch out.. you'll soon be history - my God's got the victory!

Report Card Day

2010-06-09T06:54:00.001+08:00

I miss those days when my mum would come to school to take my report card.. not that I got a good grade, top in the class or anything.

It was just one of those rare but special days when I got to go home early with my mum..

Those were the good 'ol days, man.

I miss 'em.. :)

Wedding Bells are ringing!

2010-06-08T20:40:00.002+08:00

So excited for Ps. Chung and Pei Sing.. In a week's time they'll be having their holy matrimony! (though they're officially married now)

Isn't it amazing and exciting how two people join their lives to live as one?

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man separate" Mark 10:9

I always love hearing people's love story - how they met, fell in love and got married.

Hoping that one day I'll have mine to tell as well.

Anyhow, it's in God's hands... Learning to trust and wait :)

2010-06-06T23:08:00.002+08:00

The Valley of Baca used to give me sorrow and fear, but now these verses give me comfort and hope. All glory to God - Hallelujah!

Psalm 84 (New International Version)

How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young— a place near your altar,

O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.

Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.

Look upon our shield, O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

A longing for His presence

2010-06-04T18:22:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt like.. it's not like how it was before? There was a point in time when God's presence was so heavy and so real, but now you hunger for it even more.

I'm at that point.. I hope you are too. We need God's presence so mightily in our lives.. we need to feel His refreshing glory. I'm getting dry, thirsty and hungry.. I need a sip of that river of living water, I need Him to fill my cup until it overflows.. I need a touch of God right now.

I long to dance in His presence.. and worship Him in spirit. Knowing that I'm pleasing an audience of one. I long to be with Him alone.. dancing in the spirit.

And I know I'm not alone.. I know you too.

Let us seek Him and worship Him.. for all the days of our life.

Glory to God.. Hallelujah.

Lord have mercy..

2010-06-04T15:14:00.002+08:00

Again and again,

I'm reminded of how insufficient I am.

How my heart is incapable of loving as God has loved me.

Incapable of loving God himself..

Oh Lord have mercy...

If only you knew what would set you free

2010-06-01T04:57:00.002+08:00

I wish, I wish.. I wish... I WISH!

I wish I could tell YOU the good news.

The most wonderful news.

THE GREATEST NEWS!

But, I can't.

Not until you're ready.

I don't know when you will be ready.

But by God's grace, one day you will.

And hopefully I will be there, to witness this miracle.

iMotivation

2010-05-25T20:08:00.002+08:00

It was just recently that I realise how extrinsic motivation doesn't do much good to me, posing a problem when I lack instrinsic motivation. Since young, my parents have never pushed me to study hard. Therefore, I moved when I felt I needed to.

Maybe this is one failure or bad grade I need to motivate me..

Lord, Daddy.. I need help :(

Only He knows

2010-05-19T13:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes.. I'm unsure of what the future will be. Will it be how I want it to be or how I fear it would be?

I need really hard knocks on my head, not gentle reminders, that it is all in His hands.

Only God knows.. Only Him.

The warmth of a hottie

2010-05-13T04:25:00.004+08:00

I still remember when I first bought a hot water bottle back in Malaysia..

I was complaining of my constant backaches, forgetting that Aunty Nor had lived in pain for decades..

She advised me to not rely on painkillers, but instead use a hottie.

God bless your soul, Aunty Nor.. We deeply miss you.

A lesson from TESOL

2010-05-10T19:22:00.002+08:00

Know why sometimes God's word does seem to have any meaning to us or speak to us?

Because we don't have a context!

Know His word, and wait for the right timing for it to come alive in the right context.

He makes all things beautiful in His time!

Dance with Me

2010-05-04T16:12:00.002+08:00

Dance with me

O lover of my soul

To the song of all songs

Romance me

O lover of my soul

To the song of all songs

Paul Wilbur has such an anointing for worship and song writing. This song speaks so beautifully of the love we want to have with our Lord, we as the bride and Him as the bridegroom.

May He continue to romance our hearts, falling deeper and deeper in love with Him..

I pray this for both me and you who is reading.. God bless you.

Do not dwell on the past

2010-04-24T05:57:00.003+08:00

I don't know how many years it has been since Pastor Timothy introduced us to this verse and made us say it week after week after week. But I wish I could go up to him and thank him, for this verse has carried me through some really deep downfalls.

I've been trying to find this verse in my old bible, my study bible.. but no success. Finally, I searched online and voila! A relief to some agony and disatisfaction of not finding what I'm searching for.

The word of God for you:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and and streams in the wasteland."

No matter how shitty life has been, no matter how 'sinful' you are.. (if there's even a way to measure, although we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God - you and I, are all sinners in God's eye and if it not were for the grace of God through the blood of Jesus, we would not be forgiven)

..back to the story..

No matter how 'sinful' you are - God's grace is still the same!

He says that He is doing the impossible.. He's making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland!

Can you imagine something so clean and pure as a stream.. coming from a wasteland?

God's power is amazing.. and if you confess and believe that Jesus is Lord, you'll see the work of God in your life.

Even me, although I've been saved for a number of years already.. I am still in need of His grace - no lesser than anyone. Many times I fall, and am so soaked in self-pity and shame.. it's easier to dwell in the past, than to move on.

If you feel or have felt the same way I have.. Listen to God's heeding (if there's such a word):

Forget and do not dwell!

He is doing a new thing - in YOU.

God bless..

Blessed Sunday!

2010-04-18T17:15:00.003+08:00

Today was an amazing day.. it started off really well - waking up a little late than usual, and just spending time praying and thanking God for all the wonderful things that He has done! What an amazing thing to just thank God and rejoice in His goodness.

Church was awesome today, worship was so genuine and.. the presence of God just flowed through the congregation. God truly spoke to us on how blessed we are to have Him in our lives. Isn't it true? If Jesus hadn't come down on the cross - we would still be governed by law, and not grace. Therefore, sin would still be our master. But Jesus has overcome the world, and triumphed death. Therefore, we have the forgiveness of sins when we confess with our mouth - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:19)

Isn't that amazing? It truly does set you free - and if the Son sets you, you will be free indeed! (John 8:36) This is Jesus' promise himself to us.

We don't have to be trapped in that vicious cycle of sin.. for He has set us free. He has freed us and removed our sins and transgressions. The alcoholic, drug addict, smoker, prostitute can claim this freedom.. the cycnist, the pessimist, the depressionest (if there's such a term) can claim this freedom in the name of Jesus!

You and me, ordinary people.. sinners by birth and the curse when Adam and Eve sinned - but saved by the grace of God. Isn't that amazing? That the murderer and the rapist, can be healed and set free by the love of God. That's something to shout about!

The depths of your soul is empty and can only be fulfilled with one thing - Him. Not drugs nor alcohol.. so surrender your life to Jesus, and see Him transform your life. It's amazing!

I thank God that He has been showing me many areas which I lack His love and Truth.. I need Him to open my heart and expand its territory, that I may love others and most of all learn to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Truly truly, He has brought me so far.. from where I used to be and what I was. But there is still much to go, and like Paul - I pray that I will say on my deathbed "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." Not only me but also the sisters and brothers in faith - amen!

A wonderful question Pastor Mike asked us in his preaching last Sunday (which we listened to yesterday) - What can of store do you want to be?

What do people come to get from you - support? comfort? kindness? goodness?

Or do people come to listen to the latest gossip or the latest blue film available?

We need to check our hearts and minds, and be selective as to what we take in - the kind of movies we watch, the thoughts that we think and the words that we say to others.

May the good Lord bless you.. Amen.

Growing Up

2010-04-16T16:13:00.002+08:00

Growing up is like giving birth - a lot of pain.

But the pain gives birth to life.

And when we look back,

we'll realise it's all worth it.

God bless.

Sometimes..

2010-04-14T12:43:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I forget how much I've been blessed..
Sometimes I forget the depth from which I've been redeemed from..
Sometimes I forget that much of what I have is by grace and not by my own works.

Let's remember the grace of God and how much we've been blessed.

Let us remain in Him - we are the branches, and He is the vine.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free - no longer bound by the yoke of slavery.

Hallelujah hallelujah.. Amen.

Easter Break

2010-04-11T13:18:00.002+08:00

Well, my friends and I had our very first Easter break.. and a bunch of us headed to Moeraki Beach for the OCF Retreat. It was a really good trip, took my mind off things.. and we had a wonderful time staying together as a family for four days.

On my way back, somehow things started coming back and it was tough.. Cried on my way back, cried in my bedroom. Then, had a rather small argument which blew out of proportion and ended up becoming really big.

Then, cried myself to sleep.

Aunty Nor's demise was hard for me because I really hadn't lost anyone close yet. Things don't get any better when you think too much too often.

However, God really provided me such loving people around me.. He made me realise how much I am and have been loved. I definitely need to start appreciating people more, knowing that one day our time will be up before we know it. In the blink of an eye, I'll one day be married, have children and die. Before that, my partner could pass on before me, or even my parents.

The Lord has taught me to cherish my days.. one day gone is a day marked off in the number of days He has given us.

Oh Lord, teach us how to make the most of each day.. teach us to obey Your voice, that each day is a day of miracles.

Blessed be Your name, Oh Lord - in the land that is plentiful - where the fields of abundance grow - Blessed be Your name.

2010-04-01T13:19:00.002+08:00

The world just lost another star today.. maybe not in its eyes but in its population.

She was a warrior, a fighter..

She didn't manage to come up with her book, though she ought to.

She's a hero - Aunty Nor.

God bless her soul, and the rest of her family..

I can't believe there will be no more.. It's so hard to digest the thought of never seeing her again.

Although life is constantly changing, certain parts will never be the same again.

Going to her house and chatting for hours, hearing her stories and adventures.

She used to bug me asking when I was going to bring a boyfriend over.

She bought me my first branded jeans!

She was the lady whose hand I held as we went up and down steps.

No one will ever understand.. neither will I ever understand how it feels to lose somebody - because each person means something different to someone else.

I can almost hear her assuring me.. "Don't worry about me, I'm going to be fine,".

I know you're in a better place, Aunty Nor.. We'll miss you and hopefully meet one beautiful day in heaven.

May your soul rest in peace, free from all the pain.

God bless you Aunty Nor.. We will all feel your absence in our lives.

Settling in my skin

2010-03-31T11:30:00.003+08:00

Sometimes tt's nice to just move at your own pace.. not feeling pressured by others or how they do their work. Sometimes comparing myself to others makes me feel anxious and insecure.

Learning to trust in Him.. that everything will fall into place.

Really really can't wait for Easter retreat! Just sense that there's going to be something super duper good! :D

I spy with my little sepet eyes

2010-03-05T03:37:00.002+08:00

There's something about some people that you just know.. only Jesus could have done it.

As you look at people's lives, how they've been transformed - all glory to God!

Look around you, do you see anyone who has been touched and transformed?

Isn't it amazing?

It is.. Hallelujah!

For all..

2010-03-02T03:30:00.002+08:00

For all who believe in God and His unfailing love..
For all who trust in and take refuge in His word and His promises..
For all who are called by name, and hear the voice of their Shepherd..

May you be blessed by His words of comfort:

I lift up my eyes to the hills -
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip-
he who watches over you will not slumber.

Indeed He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you-
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The L0rd will keep you from all harm-
He will watch over you life;

The Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Amen.

Lectures start..

2010-03-01T19:51:00.002+08:00

So today marks the beginning of my shoulder aches and constant backaches.. Oh well!

Nevertheless, God is so good.. After a difficult two weeks, I've found a church that I feel so at home in :) Elim is its name.. but the two previous churches which I attended - the people there were really nice! But somehow there's something that just fits and hopefully, it will be my home for the next 2 years, through all the seasons, both spiritual and physical.

Cass is here! Finally :D Haven't got to chat with her much as she's a million miles away.. (it feels like that in the freezing weather).

Facebook has been cranky, it comes all messed up in simple and ugly fonts which I'm no longer used too.

Yup yup yup.. that's me and I hope everyone's been good! Autumn is definitely here as the chill has already set in.

Oh well.. God is good! May we seek Him in every season.. trusting in His promises and His word.

A prayer for renewed zeal

2010-02-25T15:59:00.002+08:00

I miss my brother. I miss being under my parent's wing and not have to worry about certain important things. I miss everything that went wrong, on top of everything that was right.

The little 8th graders singing along to Fireflies in the school we visited today reminded me of my brother who would plug on his headphones and listen to it till he fell asleep.

I had to hold my tears..

12 days to go!

2010-01-27T16:25:00.006+08:00

The number is getting smaller and smaller.. and I'm excited as shopping is almost completely done and packing has started! Talking to Yuvha definitely excites me.. although leaving home and family after the best 2 months I've ever had with them would be bittersweet.

But we need to let go, in order to grow..

Mum's 50th birthday was last Tuesday, and I had a fun time planning it! In the morning, suprised her with a gift and card placed at the steering wheel.

While she was sleeping, I sneaked off the get her cake and saw these adorable cupcakes on sale. Picked James, bought matches and she was STILL sleeping! Haha. We pretended that this was her 'pathetic' 50th budget birthday cake.. then my brother just had to break the bubble after we sang Happy Birthday - "Still got what,".

Fortunately, mum was rather blur after her return from Never-everland.

While I was cooking dinner.. (yes, we ate at home. no grand dinner as the money needed to be saved for another one!) mum discovered the ice cream cake in the fridge!

Ahhh! After all the "No lah, the [huge] container is for the cupcakes one!".. "What else?? No more lah! This James simply say one," (ok, bad English. so sue me) - she found the huge container in the freezer!

Aduh.. Potong stim lah.

Anyway, we were still happy.. James was the proud sponsor of the cake. He was pretty gracious about some miscommunication as to what kind of cake we should buy.

At school, some flowers were delivered anonymously to my mother.. (but she figured it out in the end). Roses, roses.. Love those red velvety roses :D

On Sat, the real thing finally came... the suprise dinner! She thought it was a suprise farewell for me, until we unveiled the cake.

The look on her face.. priceless!

And for that, it was all worth it :)

After dinner, we went over to Jay and Kee Teing's place for a drink.. suprise, suprise.. there was something small for me too!

Well, looks like people are ready for me to leave :D

I sure hope Dunedin has sunny skies and big beautiful trees :)

Praise you in the morning

Praise you in the evening

Praise you when I'm young and when I'm old

Praise you when I'm laughing

Praise you when I'm grieving

Praise you every season of the soul

Oh, pelupa...

2010-01-22T19:54:00.002+08:00

You know what's the worst thing?

When thunderstorms and hurricanes hit.. when all is dark and you're in the whole "Woe is me!" self-pity.

Is that the worst?

Or is it when you feel so dry.. so drained out and far away from God. Or rather, God seems so distant to your little dry heart.

"Where art thou, my Lord?"

I feel the worst is going through such situations and forgetting that hardships are meant to prune you, and forgetting all the miracles and wonders that God has blessed you with in your life. When you start to doubt and think "Maybe.. I'm not that sure after all," and forget how real God has once or twice been so REAL in your life.

It could also be when we start to intellectualise and rationalise Him, when we start to think that other things make more sense that faith and religion. Jesus, walking on water - was it frozen?

Anyway, what I feel so horrible right now is.. forgetting all the amazing things that have happened and living with no remembrance of how awesome God was, is and will forever be. Sometimes God is as big as I feel He is.. sometimes I forget how big He really is.

If I could.. I'd want to remember all the good times AND the bad times. I have a tendency to forget so many things.. but after all these years, I know one thing for sure - God is forever faithful - to His promises and to His children.

Just today I wrote to Daddy, asking Him to bring my father home today in time for the celebration tomorrow.

Hallelujah! Mum is on the way to pick him right now.

God is so good.. I really can't believe it. I'm amazed.. Thank you Father, I deserve nothing but you have given me everything. More than I have ever dreamed of, and ever wanted.

Praise the Lord our God! Hallelujah..!

In Jesus' name, Amen.

As I am..

2010-01-21T07:56:00.002+08:00

Jesus, take me as I am

Jesus take me as I am

I can come no other way

Take me deeper into you

Make my flesh melt away.

Make me like a precious stone

Crystal clear and finely honed

Life of Jesus shining through

Giving glory back to You.

2010-01-20T11:16:00.003+08:00

"If I could live my life again, I'd become a Christian earlier,"

Not able to recall whose words those were, that was what came into my mind as I woke up this morning.

Last night was full of frustration and helplessness.. I told Father about it. I haven't been doing what I ought to be doing. The excuse? Busy.

We're all kept so busy that we don't spend time with Him.. we wake up to a heavy, tight and packed schedule only to come back exhausted and reading His word or spending some quality time with Him is out of question. Where got mood??

For I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live but Christ lives in me.

It's hard, and it's a struggle.. the flesh refusing to submit to the will of the spirit. But step by step, and day by day.. submit to the will of your spirit - do what is pleasing to God, and He will bless your life abundantly.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

It's been around 4 years since Jesus came into my life and to be honestly, the walk was pretty slow and unstable in the first year. Initially, I was all 'fired up' and 'yeah, come revival!' till the emotions died down.

If we are faithless, he will remain faithful , for he cannot disown himself.

Hallelujah - the Lord our God is faithful! In 2008, a personal earthquake struck me and.. the Lord brought me back into His saving arms. Since then, I have grown so much thanks to so many angels which God has sent to support and nurture me. Praise the Lord our God!

Now that I've been at home for about nearly 2 months, I look at the things which the old me collected - they no longer mean anything! Clutter, junk.. a waste of money, time and emotions! Meaningless, meaningless.. they carry no weight in the kingdom of God.

If I could live my life again, I'd change the way I used to lived.

I would change the way I treated my family.. I'd change the way I spent my money and time.. I'd change the way I thought of other people's opinions.

Anyhow and anyway, all things are made beautiful in His timing! It is never too late, and too early..

It's just wishful thinking - "If only I had.."

Ultimately, we might not be who He wants us to be if we had not gone through turbulent times.. we might not appreciate the salvation and the life He had given to us.

He who has been forgiven much, loves much and he who has been forgiven little, loves little.

As February 8th comes closer day by day.. the heart feels a deep sadness to leave my family which I have learnt to love. It didn't come easy, but the Lord really showed me that I needed to love my family.

May the Lord bless you and keep you safe from all fear.. Amen.

Jan 10

2010-01-19T07:15:00.003+08:00

Learning to Love

2010-01-08T06:19:00.003+08:00

Let me welcome you to Lake Gardens.. a hidden treasure in the heart* (i hope) of KL.

*assumption based on the perception that KL Sentral IS the centre of KL.. and LG is a 10 minute walk away.

I'm proud of my dad :) If he had the sight, I know he would climb Mt. Everest.

That's what he has.. determination.

I had a great time with my dad.. and he turned out to be a superb tour guide.

Once God opened my heart and taught me how to love.. life has been so much better. Though I still struggle to do it many a time, those precious moments when I do it.. I can see the difference it makes.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

No matter what path you've taken or the wrongs you've done - it is never too late to walk right with God. It just takes one right step to start it off.. to make things better, to make things right.

Love keeps no record of wrong.

You've murdered someone? You've murdered a few? You've done mass murder?

A human like me would shun you, condemn you.. despise you, insult you and curse your very birth. A threat and nuisance to society!

But in reality, I'm just like you - a sinner. I never murdered, but at the same time I was never sinless. I had never been right with God.

Until Jesus came.

He died as a sacrifice for our sins, and through His blood.. we have been forgiven. No matter what you've done, God forgives you.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

If you have people who don't forgive you.. it doesn't matter to a certain extent. We have all fallen, our judgements are based on flawed eyes. God does not see the world as we see it.

God is love.

He does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

..and you will know the truth, and the truth shall will set you free.

2010-01-06T19:16:00.002+08:00

Early this year.. Cass, Mel and I started translating SMS (Scripture Memory System) into BM. So far, we've only done 2 packs. Since we're not around the campus, Moureen and Steven are to continue SMS :)

As we were translating.. I was confused - what's the difference between the use of the word 'Allah' and 'Tuhan' as in the other version of the Bible? After doing some checking.. we came to realise that the use of 'Allah' and 'Tuhan' aren't exactly the same, although to most people we would think that they meant the same thing.

After some comparison with the English Bible.. we found out that the term 'Allah' is used for the English equivalent of 'God' while 'Tuhan' is used for our equivalent of 'Lord' (e.g. Lord Jesus becomes Tuhan Yesus).

Initially, we hit a roadblock when we tried to translate Lord Jesus. Would it be Tuan Yesus? Dato Yesus? Tan Sri Yesus? Hahaha..

When I first joined TCF BM, I was suprised that the BM/Indonesian songs used the word 'Allah'.. then I found out that it was the Arabic word for God, used by 'Arabic speakers of all Abrahamic faiths, including Christians and Jews' (Wikipedia, n.d.)

Anyway, I guess this is a reminder for me to ask Moureen how SMS has been going.. I cooked dinner today! Hooray! :D

Today..

2010-01-04T21:14:00.004+08:00

I enjoyed looking around with dad today..

..yup, and this might be a first :)

He is my light, my strength.. my song.

2009-12-30T13:36:00.002+08:00

Johor was amazing! Thank God for His goodness and grace.. was so blessed to share with my aunty and she shared with me many stuff she's been through. Also managed to have heart to heart talks with my cousins.

God is good! :)

caught

2009-12-15T12:07:00.003+08:00

Sometimes we expect life to be a bed of roses..

"We are God's children, we deserve to enjoy life.. We shouldn't go through famine, death, pain, poverty.."

The truth is, we don't. It is only by His grace that we enjoy prosperity and peace. Those are undeserved blessings.

If Jesus suffered from the whips and the crown of thorns which were forced on his head, and if Jesus, God's only begotten son, felt every jot of pain of the nails piercing his arms and legs - who are we to say that we deserve to enjoy life?

Sometimes it's hard..

Sometimes it's very hard..

Sometimes you wonder whether you're alone..

Sometimes you wonder whether you really have to follow the Bible..

Sometimes you doubt - was that really GOD telling me that?

Sometimes you question - do I really have to do that?

Sometimes you reason - it's not that bad.

It's not easy.. but God knows best.

It's not easy, but choose to yield to your spirit, not your flesh.

It's not easy, but God will provide.

It's not easy, but God sees more than our own eye can see.

It's not easy, but God has our best interest at heart.

I struggle, you may too..

I pray that God be with you.

I'm reminded of the words spoken by Paul - My God will meet all your needs..

Do we have such confidence, such faith in God that we'd assure them or even ourselves, that God will meet all our needs?

Let's have faith, brother and sister..

Our God is a good God.. He will never let disaster befall you.

Seek Him and know Him.. with all your heart. all your strength. and all your might.

When you meet Him, you will be amazed..

You will no longer doubt, no longer question.

You will see for yourself that God is real.

Bong bong bong

2009-12-12T12:20:00.003+08:00

Well, the holidays are getting a little boring by now.

I've been cooking pancakes, baking instant cookies (which were attacked by the lizard, thus defiling its edibility) and making jelly.

Mmm.. looking around for stuff / clothes I wanna buy.

Wondering when we'll go to Johor.

* * * * *

It's been a struggle to do/set aside quiet time when I'm at home..

Sometimes the guilt kicks in to move me..

It shouldn't be that way :(

Anyhow, God is good all the time! Hallelujah! There are many things to rejoice for as well as pray for.. God bless you all.

Dreams..

2009-12-05T00:45:00.002+08:00

I guess I'm at this age where my hormones are raging and making me envy those who are getting married, are already married or have super duper cute babies.

Apu... shouldn't envy.

I need to learn too let go.. and let God take control, over my thoughts and desires.

No matter how much I plan and desire, everything will happen in His time and His plans will come to pass.

I know He's got a plan for me, you.. you.. you.. and YOU too!

All we've got to do is.. be patient.

Fuh, that's harder than giving birth man.

I cry for mercy on my poor nerves!! Or rather, my not so healthy patience.

Mercy upon me!!

Turn & Keep

2009-11-30T15:54:00.002+08:00

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face
And the things of this world will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace

Keep your eyes upon Jesus, let nobody else take His place
So that hour by hour, you may know His power
Till at last you have run the great race

Blogging from Home

2009-11-29T18:39:00.002+08:00

It's been 2 days.. but it's been good.

It is true, God puts a bit of goodness in each and every one of us.. Is that why His word says that we were made in His image? Until Satan put evil in our hearts..

God does not fail or forget to put strengths in each and every one of us..

Even my little brother, whom I have a hard time getting along with, I just realised again how he has such a generous soul.. and I see this run in both father (when he does give) and my mother.

God is good.. all the time.

Amen.

Time's almost up

2009-11-23T03:09:00.002+08:00

I'm going to miss Sarawak, so very much :(

Time Out

2009-11-21T00:00:00.002+08:00

Wow.. let's take a minute here to take a breather..

*breathe in*breath out*

I never knew.. and I'm sure I'm not the only one, that things would be THIS hectic after our exams.

We had Bina Tata Negara the next week - came back on Friday, and had TESL Retro Night on Sunday. Monday onwards was a marathon of forms and more forms.. visa application, clearance letter, tailoring our lounge suits, briefings on how to fill in the forms, chekcing forms, correcting forms, photocopying chopping and certifying forms.. finally we came to handing in the forms.

Boy, oh boy! It was craaaaazzzeey!

But in the midst of all this busyness.. I was reminded of how blessed we all are to be where we are. I was amazed the other day when Tharini told me that everyone was shocked as our institute was the only institute which has no failures for our Foundation programme.

God couldn't have put a better team of lecturers for us than we already have..

Indeed, they are the best.

I have seen the sweat and tears (literally) which have been shed for us.. the worries, and the frustration.

God has chosen the best team of lecturers.. for us. (and also for you, if you're from another institute! no worries!)

God is good, all the time!

But sometimes.. things can be so busy and hectic that I neglect spending quiet time with Him and reading His word.

As I was putting on my cream.. I was thinking shamefully "I can spend 2 minutes to put on my cream, but I can't make time for God,".

How awful is that?

Dear friends.. brothers and sisters, I urge you.. put away your movies, your books.. and spend time with Him. He alone will bring you peace, and comfort. His wisdom is above all understanding, and His joy will be your strength.

Be comforted that the God of your good times, is also Lord during your bad times. Nothing that has gone wrong, is wrong is God's eyes.

He loves you.. and He cares for you. Surrender all your cares and worries to Him, for He will set you free.

God bless you.. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Nothing without You

2009-11-02T06:28:00.003+08:00

Live Your Love by The Katinas

I'm listening to a new song from heaven
I'm wide awake, yet dreaming of You
Though I'm not alone
I'm desperate without You
I see your mercy
Lord You are holy
I want to be more like You

Teach me to live Your love
Help me to give Your love
Show me Your way
Lord I'll obey Your word and live Your love

I stand in awe, grateful remembrance
Press towards the goal
For the prize I must win
I've got my eyes focused upon You
Show me Your beauty
Cause Lord it's your goodness that makes me more like You

Holy wind, blow fresh Your fire anew
Come breathe on my soul
Let my heart be for You I've witnessed the light
And the power of Your might

Teach me to live Your love
Help me to give Your love
Show me Your way
Lord I'll obey Your word and live Your love

2009-11-01T09:32:00.001+08:00

Faithful Father - Brian Doerksen

The cry resonates..

2009-10-27T17:22:00.002+08:00

A song given by Steph some time ago.. by Jeremy Camp.

Give Me Jesus

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
When I am alone,
When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

Thank you Lord..

2009-10-27T15:00:00.002+08:00

It's been exactly a year since I got back in touch with a friend so dear to me..

Sometimes I wonder how long more our friendship will last, fearing what had happen would repeat itself again.

But thank God.. one year has passed, and we're still on talking terms. Sometimes, it's as though we're the best of friends.

I just pray that this friendship will last forever.. it indeed is very dear to me, and I've learnt a lot.

I've learnt that we can't run away from trials and temptations. Even Jesus was tempted. What we can do, is overcome.

I've learnt that loving one another is not by words or sweets, it's by being patient, kind, polite, hopefuly, ... (as in 1 Corinthians). And indeed, it is not easy - but it's never too late to start!

I've learnt that people change, but the Lord is good - and He never changes. He is always there, as you cry and as you smile. He is always guiding you, and teaching you.. showing you the right thing to do.

I've learnt that I can only love God as much as I love my brothers and sisters.. and through loving my brothers and sisters, I've learnt that I don't love enough. In fact, my love for Him is so small.. but may our cry be that He enlarges the tents of our hearts.

I've learnt many things over the course of one year.. every day is a new challenge, and a new lesson. Sometimes they come in little drops, sometimes they come in a flood.

Thank God for opening my eyes.. teaching me and guiding me. He has held me, even through my backaches.. my heartaches.. my pain, sorrow and joy.

Thank you Father, for such a wonderful friend.. and for such a precious friendship.

Most of all, thank You Lord.. for your love. Having You in my life, is greater than any other thing. Having You in my life brings meaning to every other thing. How could I live without You, Father?

Lord.. this is my love letter to you. Sometimes I feel ashamed to post it.. but I'll post it this once. Hopefully I don't take it down. No, it's okay.. I'll leave it up even to my shame.

Many times the Father teaches me through my emotions and what I go through.. just recently, He taught me the hurt He feels when He offers to help us and heal us, but we say "No thanks, I prefer my way,". I'm guilty of doing that.. I'm guilty of leaning on my own understanding, and relying on my own strength.

Oh Father.. if only we could love You as much as we should. Forgive us dear Lord.. Father, forgive us Oh Lord.. what can we do to make You happy? Who are we, sinners.. Forgive us Oh Father.. Forgive us dear Lord.. Oh, lead us back to You dear Lord..

Father, it's been too long.. living without Your presence so heavily in my life. Oh Lord, I long for the intimacy we had.. a year ago. Father, I want to wake up in Your arms.. and rest back in there at night. Father, I want to live in Your plan.. according to the plans You have prepared for me and each and every one of us. Oh Lord.. I want to live on Your love alone. Your grace is all I need.. Father, You are the very breath of life.. Father, there are many times when I walked without You, and fell.. It hurt, dear Lord. The scars and the wounds, they are still there.

Father.. would you come back into my life.. Lord, I'm sick of the excitement of Your presence. Lord, I long to be in your presence oh Lord.. to dwell in Your temple oh Lord. It's not the excitement we're after, Lord.. it is You. Father, fill our hearts once again with Your love.

In Jesus' name alone.. Amen.

Advertisement Break

2009-10-24T00:16:00.004+08:00

Bad me.

This week, two people cried over me. They're not my admirers, they're not my lovers.. In fact, they're both girls!

Bad me.

What did I do?

Well.. First of all - it's not my fault.

Secondly, ... let me tell you what happened.

*****

Once upon a time, there was a little event called event X. Friend C was running and Friend X was cheering. According to Friend X, Friend C 'pecut' after Friend X screamed - so she was so touched until she cried.

End of Story 1.

*****

A day after once upon a time, Friend B realised (for the second time) that Friend C, L, Y and Z were leaving and this year would be the last time they met. Then, Friend B wept - in the midst of studying!

So this is a collective thing.. I'm not the sole reason, but part of it.

End of Story 2.

*****

The moral of the story is.. if we, imperfect sinners, know how to love each other - what more our Father in heaven, who is perfect and who is love, Himself?

This is a mystery my mind is trying to comprehend.. My emotions are still struggling to grasp this truth.

How big is God's love?

When will my spirit finally reveal to my soul - this unfathomable mystery?

I pray He reveals it to all of us. I bet, we will never be the same, once we fully comprehend.. once we finally understand - the love given by this God whom we call.. Yahweh.

God bless..

Restore my spirit, Lord!

2009-10-18T19:23:00.002+08:00

The three sessions with Pastor Mervin were awesome during the weekend.. It definitely came in season. Indeed, everything is beautiful in His time.

I'm sure many of our eyes were opened by the many things he shared with us. As for me, I was amazed when he said that God wants to comfort us. He is not the big high and mighty God who judges us from His throne without grace and mercy.

No.

God is a God of comfort.. He has come to live with us, to heal us and to bring us back to His presence.

I'm amazed because I realised that.. God doesn't leave anyone out. Many times I felt left out.. But now I know, I am important and precious NOT because of what I do - but because of who I am in Christ.

I can't imagine a greater love.. indeed, God IS love.

Hallelujah.. Bless your holy name, Oh Lord!

Amen.

One way ticket

2009-10-15T00:08:00.002+08:00

Aite.. I've booked my flight back. I'll be leaving the beautiful land of Sarawak on the 27th of Novermber, Friday.

It feels sad.. knowing that I won't come back until 2013.

Aih.. still have one more month to go.

For the first time, there's no return ticket back.

Exams coming on one and a half weeks! Do keep me in prayer, as well as the rest of my coursemates. This is our final exam which will determine whether we fly or not :)

God bless you all.. Stan's going back to Nigeria tomorrow, we will all miss his presence amongst our midst. He has been such a blessing to every one of us..

In fact, we are all blessings to each other..

Need to learn to thank God.. for we complete each other - one body many parts.

Quite exciting to go back home also :) I want to spend time with my family, my extended family, my friends and I feel like going to Singapore!! And I'm excited to be a more consistent member of the bible study group. Hopefully I will use my time wisely..

These past few days have been lacking in prayer. However, I always feel that I ought to read God's Word (Nehemiah especially!! Don't know why!) whenever I have free time or when I stop to think what I should do next.

Anyway, Pastor Mervin is preaching on Friday.. May the Lord minister to each and every one of us through him.

Hope you're all doing well.. I'm so sorry for not keeping in touch.. I'm really bad at messaging and all for a long time.

K k k.. God bless you guys :) :) May His love be with you all..

HALLELUJAH!

2009-10-12T15:45:00.002+08:00

We're done with ALL OUR ASSIGNMENTS!! HALLELUJAH!!

Praise God!! Indeed, He has brought us through it all.. God is faithful and true!

These past few weeks have been so tiring.. so exhausting. I know I wouldn't have made it by my own strength.. I just hope I don't have to re-do any.

We've got a TITAS test today..

After that, it's exams!

Well, two papers this time.. Gotta read a lot for Lit.

Anyway.. I'm really glad. The dark days of assignments are finally over for this year.

Hallelujah.. the Lord is good. He is good indeed.

Amen.

2009-10-11T07:19:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday marked the last TCF Meeting for us in Cohort 1, before we leave next year.

Moureen's text on Tuesday brought a pang of sadness.. I never realised it would be our last until we return in 2012.

TCF has been a part of my heart and my life.. I feel like it's a baby to me. Even though last year was tough and really pushed me past my boundaries - I learnt that the limit of our strength, is the beginning of His.

A prayer item would be to find a fellowship over in Otago..

The Lord will go before us and provide us with what He thinks best..
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Thy name..

Flatmates: Sailu, Liz, Shirley and Afiqah :)

I'm looking forward! I'm excited!

I wonder what our Father has in stall for us :D

I need to recover back the sleep I've not been getting.. I can wake up after a 3 hour nap and still feel so tired.

*yawn*

Mengantukkkkkkk..

2009-10-03T01:55:00.002+08:00

These past few days have been so hard.. Pushing me to the limit, not only in terms of our workload but also in my character.

I've been losing my patience.. been frustrated.. been annoyed.. been complaining.

Giving thanks has been hard.. emotions have been taking over.

It's time to say NO! Emotions, you will not control me!

This simple song, will be a song a declaration in my heart..

Semua baik

Apa yang t'lah kau perbuat di dalam hidupku

Semua baik

Semua teramat baik

Kau jadikan hidup bererti

AMEN!

Life, oh life..

2009-10-01T02:25:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I feel like writing something..

But most of the time I just end up saving it as a draft.

Why?

Hard lah, we're constantly learning..

What we know, after time, becomes what we thought we knew..

Its just like looking back at a journal you wrote four years ago, don't you feel "Oh! I was so childish last time! At least now I know better!".

Well, I think we'd say the same thing if we wrote a journal now and read it another four years later.

So, we're constantly changing.

So, what should I write about?

(k k k, i know i should use sequence markers or something. i'm repeating so as a poetic device, ya'know?)

I just share wtv interesting stuff passes my way lah..

Like this video!!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=141656334491

So sweet.. so sweet T.T (wow! first time using this emoticon!)

I want this for my wedding T.T

And Steph to play the clarinet T.T

Qian and Jo to play the piano T.T

My cousin to design the backdrop and programme book T.T

Sherryna to bake my wedding cake T.T

Kenneth to design and distribute the invitation cards T.T (but not that good until everyone comes ah, no money leh if everyone comes. i know your ad skills very good wan! try to make it in a way that the unwanted people don't come, and the wanted people come.. just kidding lah.. :P)

MmmMmmm.. who else want to contribute to my wedding leh??

K k.. 8 years more!! Give you all enough time to come up with something that would beat Oprah's wedding!! (if she ever got married. I challenge you, Op! Race you to the line!)

Sayonara Jo and Qian!!

You too Steph, soon!

Mich, hope you're enjoying yourself there!!